


Haven’t we known for a long time that it’s a mistake to attach meaning to each and every action of a person?

by sadmarchhare



Category: Blue Lock (Manga)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Beta Read, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:27:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29541651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadmarchhare/pseuds/sadmarchhare
Summary: ‘I’m not enough for him.’ was the only thought that ran across his mind, making his eyes brim with tears and making him unable to fall asleep, he was too anxious, he wanted to go look for Nagi and take back all that he said. Explain that he wasn’t sure if he’d ever go back to playing next to him again that he didn’t have the confidence he feigned. The only thing he was sure is that they’d grow further apart and that he could do nothing to stop it.
Relationships: Mikage Reo/Seishirou Nagi
Kudos: 6





	Haven’t we known for a long time that it’s a mistake to attach meaning to each and every action of a person?

**Author's Note:**

> reo is tad bit ooc i think? this was written very quickly while i was very sad so this is just a product of pure emotion
> 
> title from the book "Pandora's Box" by Osamu Dazai

‘I’m not enough for him.’ was the only thought that ran across his mind, making his eyes brim with tears and making him unable to fall asleep, he was too anxious, he wanted to go look for Nagi and take back all that he said. Explain that he wasn’t sure if he’d ever go back to playing next to him again that he didn’t have the confidence he feigned. The only thing he was sure is that they’d grow further apart and that he could do nothing to stop it. 

“You just keep waiting for me above.” He had said and now he regretted it, he actually had wanted to scream “No! Let me play with you one last time, don’t leave me like this... please.” But that would have been selfish wouldn’t it? Nagi was his own person he was free to do whatever he wanted moreover, it was Reo that had pushed him to play soccer so he would make full use of his talent, but it still hurt. It hurt so much that he really couldn’t sleep, so he decided to silently get dressed and just run full speed to the nearest park. 

It was a beautiful albeit cold night, the way the stars shone so brightly distracted him for a second, until they started to remind him of Nagi, the way he now was a soccer star that shone way more brightly than Reo though he ever could. Reo couldn’t help but feel proud even if it hadn’t been him that caused him to shine, he simply told him that he was a star, that he should play soccer and then in Nagi’s words he had turned into a “pain in the ass”. It was cool, it didn’t hurt at all that Nagi had turned on him like that. 

Reo let out a bitter laugh as he sat on a park bench, it was then that he felt a tear touch his lips, “Oh I’m crying.” He let his head fall on his hands and just let himself cry away; he couldn’t remember the last time he had done so. After all his life was just filled with boredom and nothing else, there had never been anything or anyone he felt strong enough about to cry over. Nagi had changed him in a way he hadn’t been able to change Nagi, it hurt. He liked him more than he would ever be liked back. 

In more ways than expected. Because he had discovered not long ago that he had fallen in love with the other boy which only served to make him feel worse because there was no way Nagi would ever like him back that way, especially now. He couldn’t believe his treasure disappeared in the ocean just like that, when he can’t even swim to get it back. 

A cold breeze shook the leaves of the trees all around him, along with his hair that he had forgotten to tie up before leaving. He felt good knowing that he was alone, that’s exactly what he needed, this way he could let his emotions out, cry, scream if needed and maybe go back to old vices, his mind supplied as his hand brushed against a cigarette pack, he had bought the night after Nagi chose Isagi. 

Reo looked up and stared at the lights of the city far away, the lights of the seemingly sleepless city reflected on his blank eyes and tears that hadn’t stopped falling, without moving his head Reo decided that maybe smoking would ease his anxiety at least a little bit. He slowly took out a cigarette, brought it to his mouth and lit it, he hadn’t smoked in a long time, the day he had brought the pack he had left it unopened because he still had some hope in a way. He had started before meeting Nagi for fun and to ease his boredom but when he met said boy the other had helped him stop. 

It was a stupid habit after all it wasn’t to make him feel better like right now, it was just teenage stupidity. At least now he could smoke knowing he wasn’t doing it just for the hell of it, that made his memories of Nagi spending time with him so he’d never have time to put a cigarette in his mouth feel less painful. 

Nagi had been very adamant about him stopping and at the time, he didn’t appreciate it that much but now that he slowly let smoke fill his lungs, he wanted to thank the other for all his hard work when he wouldn’t even get anything out of it. 

They used to be close didn’t they...? 

Even though his tears had stopped not long ago they threatened to spill out again, his old self would probably insult him if he saw him like this, how embarrassing. Why had Nagi carved himself in Reo’s heart only to not even look back when he chose Isagi, when he said Reo wasn’t enough. 

Before his thoughts stabbed even more his phone buzzed and Reo shook his head trying to clear his thoughts a bit. He couldn’t let himself be completely lost in thoughts like these or else he wouldn’t even be able to play soccer tomorrow. He took his phone out of his jacket pocket and looked at the notification only to wince and wish he hadn’t looked at it. 

It was Nagi, he had sent him a text that read “Where are you?” Reo just scoffed, so now he was worried? He held his cigarette between his lips so he could answer the text, he decided to go with, “Just outside. Why?” 

Surprisingly enough Nagi answered within seconds making Reo almost jump when he felt his phone buzzing a second time, when he read the text, he let out a hearty laugh and took a drag of his cigarette. Why was Nagi looking for him? And so late too. He probably wanted to tell him something about tomorrow's game but honestly, he wasn’t in the mood to think about that kind of stuff. 

Nagi: outside where? i cant find u and ive been around the building 

Reo: y are you looking for me? im okay, just getting some fresh air 

Reo: go to sleep it’s late (˘･_･˘) 

Nagi: no i need to tell u something and itd rather not wait 

Reo: do it over text 

Nagi: no i have to say it in person 

Reo bit his lip, he really didn’t want to tell Nagi where he was, he was literally the last person he wanted to see. But the other was only this stubborn when whatever he wanted was really important because usually if he can’t get something he just shrugs. It was a hard decision and he could feel his heart getting heavy at the prospect of talking to Nagi right now, he was mad and unhappy with him but no matter what he couldn’t say no. That was still Nagi even if he wasn’t his anymore. 

Reo: im at the park closest to Blue Lock 

Reo: yk the small one 

Nagi: omw 

After typing those two texts Reo couldn’t think of anything else but what could Nagi possibly have to say? Millions of possibilities crossed his mind some more plausible than others; it was probably just something soccer related but, what if it wasn’t? And that really put his thoughts in a turmoil. He sighed and continued smoking trying not to lose his mind a second, or third depending on how one is counting, time that night. 

“I thought you had stopped.” Brought by the wind came an unmistakable voice, it was Nagi’s, he had finally arrived but instead of the usual bored look, his brows were furrowed. Reo closed his eyes and took out another drag of his cigarette, ashes flying with the wind, just not as beautifully as his friend's voice. 

“And I had.” Nagi didn’t bother sitting next to Reo he just stood there, hands in his pockets and his gaze fixed on Reo’s hair that unlike usual wasn’t tied in a small pony tail, how long as it been since he saw his friend with his hair like that? It framed his face as prettily as ever. But that thought didn’t last long as the smell of his friends' cigarette quickly made him angry again. 

“Could you please put it out?” Reo opened his eyes and stared at Nagi’s it was obvious that was a no. 

“Why? I’m almost finished. Just tell me what you came here to say.” Nagi started feel both anger and worry towards Reo, something was obviously bothering the other enough to make him go back to smoking and he understood that but couldn’t he at least put it out for now? He didn’t like how much this Reo reminded him of the one before they became close friends. 

Ah, were they still close friends? 

But before he let that train of thought develop, he grabbed Reo’s hand that held the cigar between his fingers and threw it on the ground stomping on it, “Will I have to make you stop smoking again?” Reo quickly pulled his hand back. 

“You are so wasteful. But once again just say what you wanted to, it must be really important since you are awake this late and didn’t tell me over text.” He just wanted to get this over with, since the more time he spent around Nagi the heavier his heart felt, he just wanted to start crying again. 

“It is. But first, why are you out so late?” That question felt like someone squeezed his lungs, it was such a loaded question especially now that felt so vulnerable after Nagi had touched him and gotten angry at him. He wanted to say the truth so bad but, that would only make them have an avoidable and unnecessary fight that would only make them reach the same conclusion Reo had reached on his own, Nagi was his own person, he could do whatever he wanted. 

“Couldn’t sleep, nervous about tomorrow’s game.” Was the answer he decided to go with. 

“I see. I’ll just go straight to the point,” Reo breath got caught up on his throat and he looked at his lap afraid of Nagi’s next words, “I’m sorry, for the way I've been treating you. 

And in that moments Reo started crying again this time completely silent, tears just fell right on the hands that sat on his lap. A minute that felt more like an hour passed without any of them moving or saying a word, Nagi who was starting to feel awkward was the one that finally broke the silence. 

“Is everything al-” Then Reo let out an angry laugh, he lifted up his head, not bothering to clean his tears and looked at the boy in front of him. 

“So now you say sorry? And please save me the excuses. Nagi I'm truly speechless... You know what, I’m not here because I'm nervous about tomorrow's game, I’m here because I liked you so much and yet these past few months, I’ve been treated like we just met on Blue Lock. Soccer aside you were truly a good friend, someone that changed me profoundly and someone-” He couldn’t keep going his breath got caught up in his throat, and maybe that was for the best if he had kept going, he probably would have said more than he could deal with right now. 

Nagi looked surprised too more than that he looked apologetic, “I had no idea.” 

“Of course, you didn’t.” Reo suddenly got up, walked over and stabbed his index finger right on the others chest, “I’m sure how I felt didn’t even cross your mind after all, it turns out I just liked you more than you ever liked me. I was just too blind and in love to see it.” Before he could stop himself, words kept coming out of his mouth and what he had not been able to say mere seconds ago came out like a waterfall and it hit Nagi with as much force too. Reo quickly pulled back and his legs hit the bench, what had he said just now? Hopefully he had spoken too fast for Nagi to properly understand it. 

“In love?” Said Nagi carefully as he inspected his friend's expression, Reo looked agitated and ready to flee so before he did get to run back to Blue Lock, Nagi went over to him. They were now close, too close and whatever Reo was about to say got completely lost when Nagi rested his lips on the others. Reo didn’t immediately kiss back but he did end up doing it, grabbing Nagi’s face in the process and bringing him closer as if that was even possible. They only separated when they finally needed air, a string of saliva between them quickly broke and a blush appeared on both of the boy’s faces. 

“Don’t think this is enough to make me forgive you. We still have to talk about everything.” Said Reo looking everywhere but at Nagi’s eyes. 

“I know. But for now, can I ask when did you fall in love with me?” Nagi grabbed Reo’s hand and let his thumb drag across his palm, a soft expression on his face. 

“That’s... I don’t know, I think it was love at first sight actually. As embarrassing as it is to admit this... the first time I saw you I wanted to make you mine in a way I didn’t want to make anything else mine, and you?” 

“I guess it’s the same. You made me want to actually do something, that something just being anything you asked.” Reo smiled and let his head drop on the others shoulder. 

“What are we now?” 

“Boyfriends of course. As long as you don’t treat me like you did ever again.” Hearing that Nagi squeezed his now boyfriends' hand. 

“I won’t. I’m sorry. We’ll discuss it better tomorrow.” 

“Yes, okay.” It had been a long night but still a beautiful one.

**Author's Note:**

> leave kudos and maybe a comment is u enjoyed this and if u like blue lock please come be my mutual @wilIiammoriarty on twt or @sovietdetective on insta


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